My work day today was wild. Phone calls, questions and requests for help via Google Hangouts, plus emails. The never ending emails.
Then the plea from an educator with a big meeting tomorrow, whose computer no longer wanted to let her log in.
This meant working until six, but I was planning on taking care of some business with my HOA (getting a parking permit for my car). I managed to make it home in time before they closed up shop and got that taken care of. Took my stuff up to the condo and started on some laundry and feeding the cats.
While home, I got a ring at my doorbell. A very special treat awaited me! My solar oven came in!
I realized it was only 7:00, so I went over to Walmart to pick up some food as I’m having oral surgery tomorrow and I know I’m not going to be up to dealing with anything after that, I’ll be too busy trying to get the bleeding controlled. It’s supposed to be a minor surgery this time, they need to take out the cap on the implant post to put the post in for the actual implant. We’ll see how it goes. This time I bought two six packs of pudding. I’ll be well prepared to eat to my heart’s content after the surgery.
I hope everyone will feel the love from at least one person in their life today, whether it be family, friend or a complete stranger. If not, I hope you feel it here. You are loved.
I went to work after coming home with an empty carrier. Two of Mom’s pets (a dog and a cat) were given new homes and new opportunities in California. One of Mom’s cats (Jamey) passed away after being in my home for a few months. Faith made it to a little over a year. I still have two cats from Mom, Beezer from a friend of mine and my Rachel, who has been with me since 2005. They all need to be taken to the vet for shots, microchips and any other checkups they need. This will need to take place in 2019.
I got to work 1 hour 45 minutes late, thankfully I was able to work an extra 45 minutes tonight, and I can take the rest as General Leave time.
I have a slight headache after everything that went on this morning. I also feel drained. Emotionally and physically.
It felt weird feeding only 4 cats instead of 5 and the house is quiet without Faith, who I lovingly called “The Town Crier” because she would just start meowing.
I am thankful to have had this much time with her and I hope she knows she was loved here.
Poor little Faith, had a seizure last night at around 11:00. After about a 1/2 hour she was back to normal, although her eyes were giving me a scared look, so I held her for a little while as she purred in my arms.
This morning she was fine until after she ate breakfast, she had another seizure and this one didn’t stop. She was crying in pain and I called the vet. They had me take her to an emergency vet and they found what they believed to be embolisms as her limbs were cold and not giving a heartbeat. She was unresponsive when I said goodbye before they euthanized her.
They were very kind in giving me a clay paw print as a keepsake.
Welcome to Heaven, Faith, where Mom is waiting for you.
It’s just hit the 9 o’clock curfew and I’m reconciling the October budget so I can move on to the November budget.
I’ve gotten quite a bit done this past week and hope to get more done on Saturday.
Sunday I have to meet with colleagues from work to take care of some business, so Church is not an option.
This will get better, this will get smoother, but I’m off to a great start.
The vitamins do wonders for my moods, as does the 8 hours of sleep.
I haven’t actually started in the journal yet, these are freebie pages from the Clever Fox Planner site where you can get a free sample. It’s helping me to get started so that when January comes, I know what to expect.
I went to bed around 9:30 last night, I didn’t wake up until 8:50 this morning. Yeah, I’m that tired.
Thursday night I did a load of dishes. Last night I did another load of dishes, so load #3 is going right now in the dishwasher.
Load #1 of laundry is in the dryer, load #2 is in the washer.
Cats were fed late this morning, so they were very hungry and vocal when I got up this morning. Faith gave me a scare, I think she just got stiff with her back legs, because for a while there she had lost her mobility with her back legs. I thought she had a stroke or something this morning. I sat with her on my lap and she started walking like normal again after getting warmed up. I bought her a comfortable bed, but she won’t sleep in it.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday leading up to Thanksgiving. Yes, I have a place to go for Thanksgiving. I went over to my former school this past week to fix some internet issues, and checked in with one of the teacher’s I’ve known since I started working at the school. She realized that with Mom gone and Sister moved to another state, that I would be alone for Thanksgiving and invited me to her family party, to which I gratefully accepted. It will be wonderful!
I had never heard of Friendsgiving before, but I saw this video and thought it was cool.
Have a great day, still marking off my daily habits on my planner and really enjoying some peace and quiet. I’m up to Alma 51 in the Book of Mormon challenge and have found it really starts my day off with peace in the morning before I go to work.
After feeding the cats, I ate breakfast while listening to the Book of Mormon, I’m now at Alma 30. I’m picking up on teachings I either missed the last time I read it, or listened with new ears to things I had already marked in my scriptures.
After taking a shower, I then grabbed my grocery bags and made a 2 - 3 hour trip around Mesa, Chandler and Gilbert.
The first stop was the cemetery to pay a visit to my parents and my husband.
I’ll have to get some new silk flowers for their graves over Thanksgiving.
The next stop was the Gilbert Arizona Temple. The Temple is closed on Mondays, which meant that the parking lot was not busy, the streets were not all that busy and I was able to have some quiet time to reflect and to feel the Spirit of The Lord.
Then I went down the road to the Walmart that actually carries my favorite Voortman’s Lemon Wafers. Yum yum. I assisted one elderly woman who needed some direction to back out. She thanked me for my “mothering”. An elderly couple were getting a little turned around inside the store and looking for the bread aisle. I was able to tell them where it was at so they could find it.
Picked up a few supplies mentioned in one of the books on goals while there.
Afterwards, I remembered I had my blue recycle bin filled with paper recycling in it that I had forgotten about on Saturday, and since I was down the road from the East Mesa Recycling Facility, I took it over there and emptied it out before coming home.
I’ve gotten two more loads of laundry done, including my bedding, I’ve been drinking my water (along with CranApple Juice) and getting my vitamins in me, along with my medications. I’m trying to get into some basic habits of self care, as well as taking time out for myself spiritually.
FYI: I’m not in the affiliate program, so I do not get any compensation for the links provided in my blog.
As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I purchased the Clever Fox Planner. It comes in both a daily planner and a monthly planner, I purchased the daily planner.
By the way, if you would like to purchase one, they do have a 10% off deal going on (the code is CFP10OFF, or you can go to My Great Challenge on YouTube, Sophia has been given a code for 20% off!
Along with that, I’m adding some additional helps in getting some of the things accomplished in the coming year, but I’m going ahead and starting on those now.
In addition to the planner, I’ve also purchased a monthly planner to use to keep better keep track of the FlyLady system in order to be more productive in cleaning and maintaining my home.
Another item, to help me determine what my goals are, is an ebook I found out about from watching HTGYST (I’ll post the video if you want to know what the acronym means). The Your Best Life 2018 ebook is still available from the author’s web site, but I’m not certain as to how much longer it will be available. Click here for the link.
Another booklet on ebook that I am also using to help in determining goals and lifestyle changes to set is from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s the Young Women’s Personal Progress booklet with required goals and some additional alternatives for Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice & Accountability, Good Works, Integrity and Virtue.
Along with that will come reading a chapter out of the book Simplify by Carolyn Rasmus where each letter of the word Simplify is used to stand for a quality to work on. Stillness, Integrity, Mercy, Prune, Let go, Impossible, Fortify, You.
Between all of these I will hopefully be able to find some goals and make some lifestyle changes in the coming year. We’ll see how well I do!
I didn’t take pictures of the facility, but here is the stash...
And After!
Now, some thoughts. It was great to be able to do this and there were no lines.
They don’t take medications. They handed me a card with the Mesa Police medication bins, however they are only open on Monday - Thursday during the day. No weekend hours at all. I have some thoughts on the Mesa Police Department, I’ll keep them in my head, but I’ll leave it to you to have your own thoughts.
Then they told me I could go to any Walgreens, so I went to the one up the street. Nope. The only Walgreens in my area that does this is the one I go to that is in Tempe by my workplace. That’s it. So I got to go through ASU basketball game traffic so I could dispose of the medications.
So I went there with the stash of not only my medication, but also my late Mother’s meds as well. The box was locked. I had to wait in the pharmacy line so I could get someone to unlock the collection box. I understand why they would lock it overnight, but it was 11:00 am. They unlocked it for me and I was finally able to dispose of the medications. Thank you, Walgreens.
Thankfully, I don’t do this that often, hopefully things will go smoother the next time. The good news: it’s out of my home.
I’m not the first to talk about this, I know I won’t be the last. A recent post on YouTube has prompted this, but much of what has been said has already been documented in:
The Millionaire Next Door
The Debt Diet - The Oprah Winfrey Show
I.O.U.S.A.
Capitalism: A Love Story
Inequality For All
Enron: The Smartest Guys In Town
Inside Job
Maxed Out
Minimalism: A Documentary
Money For Nothing
The One Percent
Several Frontline Documentaries including Money, Power & Wall Street
It’s basically that the middle class is disappearing. The model for the middle class is no longer sustainable with companies going out of business to make way for giants in those industries taking over to the point where it will only be a matter of time where price fixing will begin to occur, if it hasn’t already.
With that, people are going for low wage jobs to pay for food and housing, meanwhile the titans of industry demand, and are compensated, a higher level of pay and compensation, with the divide between CEO pay vs. the wages of the lowest on the ladder growing.
Yes, change is happening, and that change is going to lead, ultimately, to fewer people being able to afford the luxuries once enjoyed by the middle class.
Example: When was the last time you tried to buy a house?
I didn’t take pictures during the tour, but I did take pictures of the booty I brought home.
My employer, in an effort to get some of us to be healthier employees, held a class after work where we got a free tour of Whole Foods.
We received a bag that can be later used for groceries, the brochure about catering for the coming holiday season, spaghetti and Alfredo sauce and chips.
We also were privileged to get to taste test fruit, chicken, a cold salad and some bakery items.
At the end of the tour, we were asked to look at the catering guide in our bags for someone to have one with the word, BOOK on it. It ended up being me! The bags were handed out in a totally random manner, so it wasn’t like being the lucky seat winner for Wallace & Ladmo Show (which I also won as a child).
Now I just need to look through the book to see what great stuff I can try, and to see if any of it can be fixed in my new Instant Pot (to be posted on later).
Do you remember hearing the old adage: the only constant thing in life is change?
Here’s the reality: ALL of life is about change.
My life changed when I was sexually assaulted by a drunk neighbor at the age of six.
My life changed when I saw one of our dogs get run over by a car and killed.
My life changed when, as a high school freshman, I wanted to end my life, but instead went looking for God to find out if there was more to life than what I had known.
Thankfully, I did not cut my wrists that night, but went looking at religions different from the Baptist upbringing I had experienced up to that point.
I attended a mass at a Catholic Church and partook of the Sacrament. I attended a Lutheran Church service and did research on the beliefs of several other religions. I attended a non-denomination church and witnessed people speaking in tongues while under a spiritual influence. The closest to my heart were the Messianic Jews (Jewish people who believe Jesus is the Messiah while continuing in many of the Jewish traditions and following the Law of Moses).
Then I decided to go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for Easter Sunday. After a full 3 hour block of meetings the family living across the street from my parents took me to the Visitor’s Center for the Mesa Arizona Temple. I received my first copy of The Book of Mormon to read and I read through it, along with the Doctrine and Covenants.
The interesting part? It was on Section 132 (regarding eternal marriage) that I felt the Holy Ghost upon me for the first time.
My family did not approve and was against my joining the Church, in fact Mom joined a local anti-Mormon group and the battles began.
I loved my parents, I respected my parents, however my mind and will were made up and I chose to honor my Father In Heaven over my earthly father. In fact, doing the former ended up allowing me to accomplish the latter. Both were honored, as well as my Mother.
I was baptized on December 22, 1984. My family chose not to attend.
I still lived at home, working jobs while paying my way through community college and university. Attending Wards, wondering when that special man was going to come into my life. The first serious relationship did happen when I was about 26 years old, only to have some other abusive incidents happen with my family at home. The memories of being sexually assaulted, long buried, came back with a vengeance.
I went to my Bishop crying. I had done nothing wrong, but I honestly had no idea of how I was going to handle a marriage if I couldn’t stand to have a man touch me. This Bishop, who is married to a counselor, knew what was going on and what needed to happen. I found a roommate, together we found an apartment and the men in the Ward assisted in moving my stuff out of the house. While there was an emotional distrance between my Father and I, my Mother understood and knew I needed some distance and healing from decades of abuse.
My Bishop also had me go into counseling. After 3-4 months, I was better equipped to handle my thoughts and emotions to be able to handle intimacy in a marriage.
With that, I started a new life where I was able to say my prayers without having to hide my religion from my parents. It was at that point that I prayed and received the answer that it was time for me to received my endowments in the Temple. In the Mesa Arizona Temple.
A few years later, though, I had to move back home. My Mother had collapsed at home and thankfully I was able to quickly run over to their home to take her to the hospital. We had throught it was a bad flu, it turned out it was a mini stroke. Thankfully, because of the quick response and actions in getting her to the hospital, she didn’t suffer debilitating effects, but rather she was forced to retire from her stressful job and take blood pressure medication for the remainder of her life.
So, with Dad asking for me to help, we made amends with our relationship and when the lease was up for the apartment, I moved back home. I was home for roughly two years when I met and married Decker, moving out again for the last time. This was under joyous circumstances, a home of our own and for the first time having a Priesthood holder under the same roof.
Unfortunately it didn’t last. Two years, two months, two days into our marriage, my Decker unexpectedly died from a pulmonary embolism on August 14, 2000.
I was in a fog for a long time, then went into overdrive with Family History callings (I ended up with seven callings at the same time) while taking a course a semester at the community college to learn computers. I had already graduated with an AA degree in Business Administration and later a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management. Decker had said I was a linear thinker and would be great at computers, so I decided to give it a try. He was right.
All of this while assisting Decker’s niece with her educational and mission goals as best as I could, and trying to be strong for her during her grieving period. She left to serve her mission in Argentina around early 2003 and I found myself alone. Really alone. But not quite.
You see, my Dad, who was a smoker and beer drinker, was diagnosed with cancer of the tongue in December of 2000. This meant I needed to be there for Mom emotionally while helping Dad physically while he went through surgery and radiation treatments. In 2005 he was diagnosed with lung cancer and he passed away on December 13, 2006. I was there with Mom at the hospice when this happened. I had a moment of grieving before I had to stop my own grieving to help my Mother. After being widowed for six years, it was my turn now to teach my Mother about widowhood, while also being informed by others that I was now my Mother’s sole caregiver.
I did my best with that, and getting out of debt in the process to take care of her, until Mom passed away July 13, 2017. I was the only child there with her when she passed.
After the first four months with my sister living with me while we got the estate settled and Mom’s house sold, my Sister moved to her new home and I was alone. This time for good. No one else to look after (except the cats).
The reason for this long post is to hopefully provide some help for those who have suffered any kind of shock that leads anyone to contemplate suicide. I was suicidal as a teenager, and suicidal right after Decker died. Thankfully there were others, including some angels on the other side of the veil, keeping me from committing suicide.
Each of the major changes in my life came with some after effects of questions such as “what to I do with my life after this?”.
What I’ve learned is that with each major juncture in my life, I’ve had to realize that my previous life is now gone. It’s not going to come back, but with that comes the promise of a new life. A life that I, with Heavently Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, must create. Trust me, it works better when you include the other three. There are lessons to be learned from each of the previous lives I’ve lived and there will be more with this new life I am living now.
For me, depression and suicidal thoughts have put me in a dark tunnel with no end in sight and no light. You cannot see any light at the end of that tunnel. Keep in mind, however, that the tunnel is a lie. Blow up the walls of the tunnel and step out into the light. You will find yourself on a path that forks out in at least two directions. You must seek personal revelation in order for the guidepost to lead you into the way that will take you to where your Heavenly Father want you to be. Is it scary? Yes. Will there be moments of failure? Yes. Just keep praying and keep living. You will get there someday.
To better explain the 10 day fast from social media:
The reason for my delay in doing this was due to some education measures on the ballot that I wanted to bring to the attention of my local friends. Now that the election is upon us (I already voted via mail in ballot last week), I’m feeling more prompted to take a break. I’ll still post here, but I’ve removed the apps from my iPad Pro and iPod Touch. I don’t use a smartphone, so that’s easy!
I’ve also deleted the games from these devices as well (which will probably be the bigger challenge, LOL).
I definitely can use a break from this and hope to get more reading done, watch conference videos and get more cleaning done around the house.
November 2: I am thankful to have caught the water leak in the bathroom early, and to know a good plumbing company to call for help.
November 3: I am thankful for the opportunity to attend Time Out For Women, and for the option to use the light rail, saving me time and money.
November 4: I am thankful for Jesus Christ, who came to earth with a selfless heart who suffered the atonement and death for everyone, including me.
November 5: I am thankful for the job that I have, the work I have the opportunity to do and the lives of others I have opportunity to touch.
November 6: I am thankful for the opportunity to vote. I actually voted mail in ballot on October 30, but it was great to see the lines of ASU students stretching for across the mall at University on campus to cast their vote this morning. Wow.
November 7: I am thankful for my Mother. I won’t go into details, but a blessing occurred this morning that felt like my Mother was patting me on the back from the other side of the veil. I miss you, Mom.
While I didn’t make it to Friday night’s session of the TOFW conference, I did make it to the all day Saturday session.
The music was good, but it looked like there were some hiccups going on and the organizers of the event were doing everything they could to keep everything moving.
The conference itself is held at the Phoenix Convention Center in downtown Phoenix, so it goes without saying that traffic is going to be bad. Which is why I am VERY thankful I took the light rail from a Park & Ride right down the street from my home to the convention center. Plus, the parking garages were charging $16.00 for the event, the all day ticket to the light rail was $6.00. I not only saved a HEAP of time, but I saved $10.00.
I left home at about 7:15 this morning and got there at about 8:15 as they were opening the doors. I sat with some wonderful friends and it was a fantastic day. My packing on the day before really paid off, plus I brought my own container of water and my own lunch. The Convention Center was charging $4 for a bottled water and $6 - $7 for the lunches. More money saved.
I did, however, spend some money at the Deseret Bookstore area they set up so attendees can purchase items from partners (sponsors) as well as books and music from people speaking and performing at the conference. They didn’t offer any deals for the ebooks, though, that would have been great.
With the conference, attendees get a free tote bag, this year’s is gorgeous.
I purchased the ones from the previous years that I didn’t attend, plus I purchased a little notebook for note taking and the DVD for this year’s conference. I have the DVD’s for the previous years purchased already, now I just need to digitize this one and add it to my private viewing collection!
One of the speakers, who was supposed to be speaking in the morning, didn’t show up until late in the afternoon. Some of us were guessing that her flight in was delayed, so speakers got moved around with an additional group discussion on the stage to kill time before the speaker arrived.
All in all it was a great day, I’m thankful I was able to attend.
Going home was quite a treat as well, there were large groups of people leaving the convention center and many were going to their vehicles to drive away. Only a fraction of us were taking the light rail to get back to our vehicles.
I was VERY thankful, though, to have taken the light rail for a reason I wasn’t aware of but soon found out. We were riding into Tempe when I noticed traffic on Mill Avenue looked bad. Really bad. Rush hour traffic on a Saturday bad. The following stop at ASU explained why. There was a game at ASU and there were SCORES of people getting onto the light rail cars that already had those of us from the conference on board. People were packed like sardines in every car and another train was coming up from behind to pick up the next batch of people trying to load onto the trains.
The group were decked out in ASU maroon and gold and in very good spirits as they had beat University of Utah. Some really funny stories from the people around me kept everyone entertained until it was time for me to get off and several others from the train also got off at the same stop, there were several others, though, who knew I was getting off and moved aside so I could get off at my stop.
I left on the train at about 4:10 and arrived on my doorstep a little after 5:00. Pretty good considering how much traffic I avoided!
Next year’s conference is definitely one I’m going to have to splurge for.
2019’s theme is going to be labeled “HEAR”, meaning to hear the word of the Lord given to people for their personal revelation. They are also going to be including resources and a discussion with questions from the attendees that will be designed to assist people in seeking and receiving personal revelation.
The one downside to this year: there was no mention of the wireless password for the convention center so I was unable to take advantage of the advertisements being splayed out on the screens during the breaks.
Plumber is here, thankfully the plumbing is copper and not pvc, but he is still having some issues getting everything to cooperate. Poor guy has had a long day.
He just told me it’s going to be over $100.00, but far less than $10,000. It was the valve going from the wall into the toilet in the master bath. He’s going to Home Depot right now to get the stuff he needs. He said this has been the easiest job he’s had all day, so he was VERY happy to see that!
I won’t make it to tonight’s conference, but it looks like I’ll be able to go to the all day portion! Woo hoo!
So, this morning has already been a wild, emotional ride. At least for me.
I woke up this morning to a puddle in my master bath. Not a big one, mind you, just enough for me to think it was one of the cats. LOL.
Then I started finding more water behind the toilet and realized it wasn’t one of the cats, there is a water leak in my home.
The good news:
Today is my last vacation day, so at least I was home to catch it.
There wasn’t that much, so it probably has not impacted the neighbors downstairs.
I already know a reputable plumber, so I was able to call and set up an appointment between noon and three today.
The bad news:
My medical bills this year have exceeded $20,000 (and still counting), so I only have $1,000 left in my emergency fund, but also a $2,000 balance on my credit card.
The $700 vet bill for Faith didn’t help.
I don’t know how much this will cost to repair, hopefully less than $10,000.
The stinger: last year, after becoming debt free (at the time) I decided to treat myself to tickets for this weekend’s Time Out For Women conference in Phoenix. Yep, it’s this weekend, and depending on how long this takes, chances are I will not be able to attend, given that I’m assuming the actual repairs will be done tomorrow.
Now that the panic attack (complete with me crying on my bed in a fetal position) has passed and I’ve been able to write and think about this, I can say that I am grateful, because I have friends whom have had this happen to them and their stories and the time they have had to take off work to get things fixed was sad to hear about.
This does mean, however that I will be back into debt for the new year. I don’t know by how much, but I know i won’t be able to get the credit card paid off before December 31st. It will work out.
The other good news, because I had been decluttering and doing some light zone cleaning in that bathroom earlier this week, that’s the one room in my home where things actually look good. LOL. I had already changed one litter box, I changed another and ran a load of cat food dishes in the dishwasher before the water gets turned off for the repairs. Come to think of it, I should probably go and get some more bottled water. I have over 10 gallons, but you never know. :-)
