Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Decker Dream

This past weekend I had Decker dream. This is a great sign for me, as this Decker dream was a great one, unlike the one I had before.

The last time I had a Decker dream, it was two weeks before my father died from lung cancer. That dream was not good, as I spent the entire time crying in his arms. He was sad that I was upset and trying to get me to calm down, to show me how much he still loves me. I didn't understand why I was having the dream at the time, as Dad was doing well with his chemo at the time. His right lung collapsed, however, and after a gut-wrenching decision to take Dad off life support, he passed away a few days later. I had lost not only my Dad, but it started a chain of events where it felt as though I was losing everyone else as well.

But this dream was different. Decker was dressed in one of his regular shirts he wore for work, only he was thin and no glasses. He looked great, we talked, hugged, and laughed together (I don't remember over what), and it felt so good to see him again. It felt as though he hadn't left at all, certainly not the 7 years it has been since his unexpected passing.

This is the interesting thing about eternal marriages. This is what they don't tell you in the Holy Temple when you get married. You are still very much connected with your spouse even after they've died. There are things you will feel, dreams you will have, and even some unexpected experiences you will have with your spouse, even though you are on different sides of the veil.

At first, especially because his death was so sudden, the communication was pretty constant. Gradually, though, as time progressed, and as we both became busier with our new lives, the communication has been less and less. The Lord, though, in His infinite goodness, knows couples still need to see one another from time to time and allows for this. He understands the pain of separation, the loneliness that will set in after a time, and continues to allow us time to spend together, just a nice little reminder of a love that will last for all eternity.

A few songs that helped me while I grieved for Decker:

Keep Each Other Warm - Barry Manilow
Weekend In New England - Barry Manilow
To Where You Are - Josh Groban
You Are Not Alone - Michael McLean
Will He Ever Come - Michael McLean
Unchained Melody (this one still makes me cry) - Righteous Brothers and Barry Manilow


WarriorFlower said...

I am sorry I have been slow to keep up with your posts. I feel a bit sad that so much time has passed. I am glad to hear of your dream with Uncle Decker, that it was positive, and that you could enjoy his company.

Shellee said...

See, now if the world knew about eternal marriages and the joy that it brings, the temples would be flooded! I am excited that he is being kept busy. Remember that in the span of eternity, this is but a blink. (A really long mortal blink to you, but an eternal short blink.)