26 May 2019

This past Wednesday I felt an overwhelming sense of peace come over me.

It’s the Holy Spirit of God, and it means that I’m healing.  I haven’t felt this in a very long time.  I have no idea why God still loves me, but it’s nice to know He still does.

Today is Memorial Day. While I don’t have anyone directly related to me who died in battle, I do have many who were wounded in battle.  My heart and prayers go out to the survivors and the families of those who have fallen.

Pause.  Reflect.  Count your blessings.

Still In A Cocoon

25 May 2019

This week has been crazy, but school is now out for the summer.  In the midst of all this, for some reason, I started feeling peace on Wednesday.

I have no idea why, but I certainly needed it.  I haven’t felt that in a while.  Like years.

This morning I got up and fed the cats, fed myself and took my medication.  I included 1/2 of a Primidone with that medication.  I went back to bed and didn’t wake up until 4:45 in the afternoon.  It was after 5 when I finally got out of bed and fed the cats again.

I’m still a.little loopy from the Primidone, but hopefully it will be mostly gone by tomorrow morning.  I’d like to be able to go to Church.

I want the peace to continue.

Good night, everyone.

20 May 2019

It was 7 pm when I got off work.

I went to Walmart and picked up a few items.  It was 7:45 by the time I left.

Got home, put the groceries away and gathered up the cat food cans and took them to the recycling.  By the time I got home it was 8:45.

I heated up a frozen dinner, and through a load of clothes in the washer.

I watched a little bit of tv and when the washer finished, I moved the clothes to the dryer.  

I ate dinner, took my evening medications and went to bed.

Not bad considering how late I got off work.

Progress!

The Calm Before The Storm

The last week of school.  Please pray for everyone working in education.  Seriously.

Happy Saturday

I’m sorry I missed Monday.  

It’s the end of the school year with the regular craziness.

Plus with all of the drama going on with some of the YouTube channels.  Yeah, I went down that rabbit hole.  LOL.  At least it’s a distraction from the craziness in my life.

There are some favorites I haven’t been able to keep up on as well as any zone cleaning this week.

I did get a few loads of laundry done and a few loads of dishes.

Now onto the cleaning.  I need to pick up a few groceries, refill water containers, get more laundry done and do some cleaning around the house.

Now I just need some motivation.  LOL.

Have a great weekend.

Happy Women’s Day

Tomorrow makes Mother’s Day.

The only problem is, I’m not a Mother.

You see all of this dates back to my being in Young Women in my Church, even though I was not a member of the Church at that time.

“You are a Mother in Zion”, I’ve been told.  “I’ll be a Mother in the eternities.” I’ve been told.

Here’s the problem.

My husband is dead.  That was a choice from God.

I was not able to have children while he was alive.  That was another choice from God.

I have spent my life existing on unfulfilled expectations.  Waiting for the return of my husband, waiting for the opportunity to have and raise my beautiful children, waiting to be included in the mommy groups and to have other mothers come and visit with me while our children play together.

I’m still waiting.

The only fulfilled expectation that I have at this point is the grave site and marker that have already been bought and paid for.

That’s what is waiting for me.

Please stop wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day.  Instead, wish me a Happy Women’s Day.

Because I’m not a Mother.  Because I am a Woman.  Because my worth as a woman and a Daughter of God is not dependent upon my uterus.

I am enough.