My apologies for taking so long to post, I've been journaling offline.
In late January I had a "baby" breakdown (I like to refer to them as aftershocks from a devastating earthquake). I'm actually doing great now.
Processing trauma comes (for me at least) in layers. Kind of like peeling the layers off an onion. It opened up old wounds and trauma that needed to be addressed. The trigger for this aftershock was a dream that revealed the trauma: I was still trying to find any way I could to save my Mother's life.
The following day I met virtually with my therapist and I was able to finally process this wound that had been festering below the surface in the back of my mind.
Once that had been finally put to rest, I could feel the Savior's healing balm within me and by the following week I was feeling better than I had in years.
I'm starting to feel joy again. Something I thought I would never feel again after my Mother's death.
Fast forward to February 7th. For my Family Home Evening I was watching the videos on the Old Testament from the channel Don't Miss This. I love how deep they get in their research of the topics from each Come Follow Me lesson, and often provide things I hadn't thought of before.
I received a personal revelation from the Lord and was instructed to write it down (I did).
I won't go into much of what I received, but what I feel is a covenant with the Lord was made and, in short, I was told I would marry again.
I have no idea to whom and I'm assuming Decker is probably taking the lead on finding the time only companion for me. I've kissed enough frogs to have given up on any hopes of this a long time ago, so we'll see what Decker and the Savior have in mind for me.
I now feel completely at peace, and as I said earlier, I can feel joy again. I can feel hope again. And, with the right man, I will feel love again.
